The Wise of Whys in Us All

Any parent can tell you, answering the whys of a child can be exhausting. Why? Why? Why? As the father of two young boys, I get it. Sometimes, as much as the whys can be exhilarating, the questions can also be exasperating. But lately, I’ve been thinking more about whys, and how we need to encourage the whys not only in our children but also in our adult selves, and especially in our educators.

From the very beginning of our lives, we ask why. It’s in our nature to want to understand our world. Toddlers are the most vocal with their whys. They live in a world of new experiences and wonder. Yet as children enter school, we teach them to tamp down their whys so students can sit still, so they can take in the lesson, receive instruction, and follow directions. Some of this, of course, is necessary. We also need to foster patience and focus. But if we don’t keep the whys alive, we risk losing the kids along the way. We lose their interest and snuff out their curiosity. And curiosity, research has shown, leads to better learning, creativity, and well-being.

After a decade of overseeing mentoring programs in schools, I’ve seen a lot of great programs and heard a lot of criticism about schools. One of the most dangerous phrases I hear from kids is that “school is boring.” They have lost touch with the whys and the patience of discovery. Of asking why again and again, of sticking with something long enough to have a breakthrough. Sometimes, schooling – which is supposed to be all about learning, posing questions, and promoting growth — discourages the chaos of curiosity and relies instead on the neatness of rote answers and busy work. Curiosity takes a back seat. We see this not only in the students. We see it in the teachers, especially and more so after these long pandemic years. We call it burnout.

When asked why, most teachers say they came to the education profession because they love to share the joy of learning. They came in with a curated sense of curiosity and a wish to develop curiosity in their students. But we’re asking them to do so much more, and many educators are overwhelmed by the demands. We’ve piled on the duties of social worker, hall monitor, conflict resolver, disciplinarian, family therapist, child welfare worker, technologist, and more. It’s easy to lose sight of their personal whys.

We need to find ways to support our teachers, to reawaken and reignite their passions. One of the benefits of Coaching 4 Change’s mentoring program is that our college-age mentors help relieve some of the overwhelming duties teachers feel in the classroom. They help with one-on-one instruction. They redirect disruptive energies. They provide a break when a teacher needs one. Our hope is that this allows teachers to engage more fully with the students, to reconnect with their own personal passions and the whys that brought them to teaching.

I’ve seen the magic when a mentor or a teacher shares passion for learning. It might be a creative lesson about dungeons or dragons, science, or cooking. It could be about history, geography, or art. Their eyes light up as they teach. Their students bask in that glow. Sparks of curiosity fly. This is why most teachers came to teach. We have to help them do that.

Although the challenges teachers face in the classroom are very modern, the pressures of balancing curiosity and school rules are not new. Albert Einstein is often paraphrased as saying, “It’s a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.” As a society, we have to find ways to make sure it does survive – in our teachers and our students.

Why is more than a question. Why is a reminder that we are seekers. Of truth, of knowledge, of understanding. Why generates passion, and compassion. It turns out that curiosity—wanting to know more about everything including other human beings—also leaves us more open to hearing others’ opinions, even those that differ from our own. It gives our lives and learning meaning. It propels us to be better teachers, students, and citizens.